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Chen, senior author of the study and associate professor in the School of Population and Global Health at the University of Melbourne in Australia. "In this study we found rates of anal infection increased rapidly with increasing numbers of partners with whom they have received anal sex," said Marcus Y. HPV, which previous research suggests is carried by most adult gay men, is usually cleared by the immune system, but can cause genital warts and anal cancer, as well as cervical cancer among women. Researchers in Australia tested 200 young gay men ages 16 to 20 for HPV and genital warts, and gave them a sexual history questionnaire. So let’s talk about it.Gay teenagers who’ve had at least four sexual partners are at increased risk of contracting human papillomavirus (HPV), a recent study published online in November in the The Journal of Infectious Diseases suggests. (Many a vagina and butt have gotten sore from intercourse that goes on too long.) Still, coming very quickly during intercourse is a super-common anxiety, especially among younger people whose penises are in tip-top shape. Contrary to popular belief, there’s no reason on principle that you should try to last as long as possible, especially if everyone’s mood or time constraints call for a quickie. There is no set length of time men “should” last in bed - it really depends on the vibe and the person you’re having sex with. How do you increase the length of intercourse and not come too quickly? How long should men last in bed? Once you’ve done some exploration at your own pace, you’ll gain more clarity about the type of sex or positions you prefer.
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Meanwhile, even if you don’t yet know your label, try to be as specific as possible about what you want during sex - even if that means being clear about your inexperience. Some guys might not be interested in a slower, intercourse-free encounter, “but it’s better to know that upfront than being in a situation where you feel pressured or coerced.” Make sure that your partner knows you’re new at this, and that you might require some patience.
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Gay dating apps, especially known hookup apps like Grindr, can be blunt and transactional places where rejection is common, Rich warns: “You kinda have to have a thick skin and not take it personally.” But the great thing about these apps is that they set up a space to talk about your limits before you meet up with someone. And of course, you don’t have to have any kind of sex at all if you’re not ready. “It’s totally socially acceptable to just have oral sex or make out or jerk off.” Anal sex is a vulnerable act that requires preparation, Rich says, so it’s not unreasonable to make that clear with your partners. “You’re not required to have anal sex before you’re ready,” he says. In terms of penetrative sex, Rich recommends taking it slow and not jumping right into intercourse for the sole purpose of giving yourself a label. All that said, there's no strict definition of any of these things, and they might mean different things to different people- when in doubt, ask! But for non-penetrative sex these terms might refer to a power dynamic. When it comes to penetrative sex, being a top or bottom often refers to who is penetrating and who is being penetrated. These terms, while often applied to anal sex, do apply elsewhere, and aren't reserved for men who have sex with men. Generally, a bottom is the receiver, a top is the giver, and vers is someone who does both.
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So, how do you go about figuring it out? First, let's talk about what these labels mean. It’s “the norm to be unsure and figuring it out.” You should take comfort in the fact that “there’s clinical evidence that it’s a process,” he told me. When I called up my friend Rich Juzwiak, a fellow sex advice columnist over at Slate, this study was the first thing he mentioned.